...arrggh...its Thursday afternoon and I'm not in a good mood at all. Work is stressing..well it ought to be you say...yeah..but then I don't seem to be fulfilled anymore with my present role. "Change you idiot and stop complaining" I tell myself but I'm trying and I know i'm trying...Coupled with that, my debt's rising and my girlfriend is bugging ..for blimes sake..can someone please tell her that I'm stressed up enough already... I really feel like throwing it all in. I swear ..i feel like...uno what?.......... I'll keep quiet.
Gosh!!! why do women nag soo bloody often... arrrggghhhhh..I swear the whole world is driving me crazy and I'm reaching boiling point. God alone knows I am. In fact i'm so upset right now I don't even know what to write anymore. Thought this would relieve my stress but it isn't.
Thursday, 22 February 2007
Wednesday, 21 February 2007
Precious
A gentle whisper, an in-depth stare
my fingers gently stroking your silky black hair
as my body wishes you’d always be near
for if Earth was for sale, you’d be the sole-priceless ware.
I feel your restrain I sense your fear
I wouldn’t hurt u if you’d only dare
Why on earth wouldn’t I care?
When all I envision is u being here.
As the mid-afternoon sea calms the hot beach sand
that gentle touch as skin meets hand
An enthralling moment as our emotions orchestrated a band
I guess my godmother must have waved her magic wand
Your space would I obtrude?
How dare I, why should
Mon vantez-vous; by the time u say ‘I would’U’d have realised that ur hitherto better and best are in no league of my good.
Written by Lajumoke
my fingers gently stroking your silky black hair
as my body wishes you’d always be near
for if Earth was for sale, you’d be the sole-priceless ware.
I feel your restrain I sense your fear
I wouldn’t hurt u if you’d only dare
Why on earth wouldn’t I care?
When all I envision is u being here.
As the mid-afternoon sea calms the hot beach sand
that gentle touch as skin meets hand
An enthralling moment as our emotions orchestrated a band
I guess my godmother must have waved her magic wand
Your space would I obtrude?
How dare I, why should
Mon vantez-vous; by the time u say ‘I would’U’d have realised that ur hitherto better and best are in no league of my good.
Written by Lajumoke
Senses
Here's another poem I wrote during my so-called bout of love. It was written in 2004 when I was constantly dazzled by this size-8 nubian princess...
Saw pretty daffodils dance for the twilight winds last night,
Also saw the midnight sky cast a serene blue
Asked nature if anything prettier was at sight
No she said, but then after thought she said you.
Heard nightingales orchestrate a tune today,
Also heard Billy Holiday go a bar higher
Asked Nature if she had heard any voice pipe that way
No she said, but then after thought she said you.
Tomorrow I’ll smell a classic infusion of Arabian spices and daisies from Egypt,
I will also smell fresh rain hit the Sahara from a perfect view,
And if I was to ask nature if it had smelt anything that sweet,
No, it would say but then after thought she’d say you.
And time after time,
Yesterday, tomorrow and today
Be you away or mine,
I would have seen, smelt and heard someone more than special come my way.
Saw pretty daffodils dance for the twilight winds last night,
Also saw the midnight sky cast a serene blue
Asked nature if anything prettier was at sight
No she said, but then after thought she said you.
Heard nightingales orchestrate a tune today,
Also heard Billy Holiday go a bar higher
Asked Nature if she had heard any voice pipe that way
No she said, but then after thought she said you.
Tomorrow I’ll smell a classic infusion of Arabian spices and daisies from Egypt,
I will also smell fresh rain hit the Sahara from a perfect view,
And if I was to ask nature if it had smelt anything that sweet,
No, it would say but then after thought she’d say you.
And time after time,
Yesterday, tomorrow and today
Be you away or mine,
I would have seen, smelt and heard someone more than special come my way.
Thursday, 15 February 2007
Are Kids worth it?
Saw this on the internet a while ago and I felt I had to share this with y'all..
Are kids worth it?
Advertisement
By Nick Louth, MSN Money Special Correspondent
September 19 2006
I am going to say something outrageous, something that will have designer teddies thrown out of play pens, Playstations hurled across the room and vegetables resolutely refused.
It is this: having kids is a waste of time and money. They confer no practical benefit on their parents. And I can prove it.
While we may still desire to have a family, we have to accept that our love is going to cost us dear. When it comes to kids, economics and emotions no longer stroll hand in hand.
A rupturing of history
Millennia of human history ran under an unspoken survival contract. We have children to look after us in our old age. We feed, clothe and educate them when they are young, and teach them important skills. We invest in their future. In return they prosper, have their own children, and personally look after us in our dotage.
Yes of course we've always loved them, but at one time we needed them too.
· Do you think kids are worth it? Share your view on the MSN Money message board
· Read the response to this article from a father
In much of the developing world, people still do. It often means having lots of children so that enough survive to look after their parents and elderly relatives. In those societies, children do still personally take in and care for elderly relatives.
Parents cheated at both ends of the deal
Not so in the west. Parents are being cheated at both ends of the equation. The investment process in our children is now decades long, and absorbs even more money than buying a home. Then they diddle us out of the care we expected when we are old.
When it comes time to look after us as aged relatives, the job is outsourced to anonymous agencies, residential care homes and social services. The first asset sold to pay for care is usually our own home. Is this what all that sacrifice, missing nights out with friends, the nights of calming crying babies, the years of cooking and cleaning, the vast expense, were all about? Being parked in front of a communal TV screen in a care home, waiting for a monthly phone call from son or daughter?
The truth is that for parents the cost of children, both real and in lost opportunities, is increasing all the time while the benefits are evaporating.
· Need advice about the financial implications of having kids? Find a financial adviser near your home or office
Untangling individuals and society
Don’t get me wrong. Society as a whole obviously needs children. There need to be young people coming along, learning new skills, contributing to the economy and funding through taxes the health service and care the elderly need. And it goes without saying that without children the human race would die out.
Yet while the society-wide contract with children still works fine, at the individual level, where the decision of whether or not to have kids is made, there is no incentive. Why have your own children, when they won’t be looking after you? If the state is doing the caring you get the same benefits whether you have kids or not. Better still, you probably have a few hundred thousand extra pounds in your bank account too.
So this is the point: society needs children, but those children don’t need to be yours. No wonder then that birth rates across the western world are falling. The populations of Italy, Japan and Germany are close to the point of contracting because of falling childbirth. Millions of people are having fewer children and having them later, if at all.
Shouldering the load
Let’s set affection aside, and dissect the economics of childhood.
Bringing up a child used to bring its first practical dividends when they entered the productive workforce. This has extended from the age of 10 in the 19th century to 14 during the first half of the 20th century. Children would work in mines, in fields and factories and bring money home to their parents. Brutal perhaps, but all part of the deal. And it made economic sense.
Now, with the spread of education, that first possible contribution is at 16, and with further and higher education and perhaps even masters or doctoral qualification, could be delayed until 30. Don’t expect as parents to receive any of it though. What’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is also theirs. If they do pay off any debts, it’ll be student loans first.
· Read one father's response to this article
· Share your thoughts with other users on MSN Money's message boards
School fees
The outgoings start early. For those who choose private schools, the little darlings are going to be costing parents a fortune from the age of five, or perhaps earlier if a pre-school place or a nanny are involved. The average cost of putting a child through private school is now an eye-watering £10,368 a year.
Worse still, inflation in private school fees has been an astonishing 43% over the last five years, during a period when annual earnings have only edged up by 6%. While bursaries and scholarships ease the cost for some, an 11-year private school experience is going to cost an average £114,000.
· This week's best rates on loans
State school free? Not quite…
Don’t think that you are going to escape completely by sending your children to state schools either. Parents will fork out a total of £7,715 during the 11 years of state schooling, according to a survey by the Bank of Scotland.
The costs include £5,184 on school lunches, £941 on uniforms, £374 on coats, £220 on shoes, £303 on PE kit, £154 on rucksacks and bags, £231 on stationery and £308 on school day trips. That doesn’t even include big annual school trips, such as skiing or an educational cruise, which cost hundreds of pounds each.
· How free are our ‘free’ schools?
University daze
When I went to university back in 1976, the fees were always paid by the local authority. That was a few hundred pounds a year, but on top of that they chipped in £600 to help cover my living expenses too.
Not so now. The cost of university education is soaring. A survey by NatWest this year showed that a three-year degree course typically costs £33,000. Gone are the old days when the state would shoulder most of this cost. While the students themselves expected to emerge from their degrees with an average debt of £15,000 from student loans, most of the balance is going to come out of the parental pocket.
· For a comprehensive guide to student finance, check out our Student section
The bill arrives
Add it all up, and you will have spent tens of thousands of pounds per child getting them through school and university; up to £150,000 if private education is involved. Counting the other household costs of children, a family with two kids may spend more on them than on buying a home.
That’s particularly true if you count the hidden costs. One of the parents is likely to have taken a career back seat for at least part of the time, missing top jobs and good earnings, not to mention years worth of socialising.
Crucially, the better the educational level of the mother, and the more money she would stand to make from a career, the higher the ‘opportunity cost’ of her decision to become a parent.
If a road accident had caused the same damage, you can be sure a court would award hundreds of thousands of pounds in compensation for lost earnings and damaged quality of life.
Never leaving the nest
Of course, even when you’ve paid for school and college, you’re not done. Children often live with their parents for years afterwards, expecting mum to wash, iron and cook. If there are savings being tapped to help them onto the housing ladder, it is more likely to come from the parents than the kids.
I know a young married couple who are exhausted by their jobs as schoolteachers. After long evenings marking they have little time for housework or DIY. So their parents regularly come around to mow the lawn, decorate the house and undertake repairs. These energetic parents have a full range of practical skills which are only patchily present in the current generation. Of course it makes sense for them to look after the house, because it was their savings which funded the deposit. Thank goodness for parental love.
Childhood frozen in time
Some children never do leave the nest. There are thousands of single men and women still living with mum and dad even into their fifties. Are they dependents or are they carers? It may be a little of each, but watch who does the cooking and cleaning to be sure.
One man I know has his mum write a note for him when he goes to collect their fish supper from the local chippy. After eating, he still asks her if he can get down from the table. He’s 55 years old.
But kids still have attractions
In spite of all this, the most amazing thing is that so many people still crave parenthood and are willing to sacrifice everything to have it.
Top career women fit in motherhood with meetings, juggling responsibilities, using every kind of outsourced service from nannies to boarding school to have it all. Gay couples want children too, through adoption or surrogacy, while those couples too old for natural procreation resort to ever more elaborate medical methods to make their dream come true.
· Share your thoughts with other users on the MSN Money message boards
The vegetable veto
Even as even the smallest contributory responsibilities are deferred, children are accorded an increasing number of rights. Two-year-olds in the supermarket are invited to help choose what they will eat because it saves trouble later, even if it takes infinitely more time now. Older kids get to help decide where the family goes on holiday. Some carmakers even advertise their vehicles through the eyes of a delighted child, hoping that parents will be persuaded by some safety feature or comfort.
Little girls help choose mummy’s clothes, and quite often help her shop too. The children in turn have money lavished on them. Type in ‘Baby Couture’ on MSN Search and you get almost 750,000 references. From cashmere toddler ponchos to tiny Puma sports shoes, there is literally no limit to what you can spend to make your child a fashion accessory.
Perhaps kids have moved from an essential long-term investment to becoming merely a badge for their parents’ aspirations. Certainly, children’s parties and treats have spiralled out of control on the private school circuit, while ambitious parents arrange more and more activities to give their offspring a head start as a violin prodigy, an equestrian star or an actor/model. For every gem of talent discovered, there’s usually a spoilheap of misery.
Most starkly, at a time when western children have never in history been safer, parents are convulsed with anxiety about bacteria, bullying, drugs and paedophiles. Some kids are never exposed to the cold, to mud or to playing with other children in the street. Life is what they see out of the protective window of the Range Rover.
A generation of Little Emperors
Why this is happening isn’t easy to answer. Just as ‘only children’ have traditionally been spoiled, so our global small families have been made to feel special. In China, the one-child policy has given birth to a generation of what the Chinese call “Little Emperors”.
Perhaps the answer is love. Even though any economic balance in the parent-child relationship has broken down, even though so few kids seem grateful, or even recognise, the sacrifices, even though the upbringing process may not be over at 50, as parents, we still endure it.
However daft it may seem to economists, parental altruism still seems to earn a fat return in love. When so much in the world boils down to pounds and pence, it is somehow comforting that the relationship between parents and their kids isn’t like that.
When it comes to kids, love may cost us dear, but we don’t care.
Are kids worth it?
Advertisement
By Nick Louth, MSN Money Special Correspondent
September 19 2006
I am going to say something outrageous, something that will have designer teddies thrown out of play pens, Playstations hurled across the room and vegetables resolutely refused.
It is this: having kids is a waste of time and money. They confer no practical benefit on their parents. And I can prove it.
While we may still desire to have a family, we have to accept that our love is going to cost us dear. When it comes to kids, economics and emotions no longer stroll hand in hand.
A rupturing of history
Millennia of human history ran under an unspoken survival contract. We have children to look after us in our old age. We feed, clothe and educate them when they are young, and teach them important skills. We invest in their future. In return they prosper, have their own children, and personally look after us in our dotage.
Yes of course we've always loved them, but at one time we needed them too.
· Do you think kids are worth it? Share your view on the MSN Money message board
· Read the response to this article from a father
In much of the developing world, people still do. It often means having lots of children so that enough survive to look after their parents and elderly relatives. In those societies, children do still personally take in and care for elderly relatives.
Parents cheated at both ends of the deal
Not so in the west. Parents are being cheated at both ends of the equation. The investment process in our children is now decades long, and absorbs even more money than buying a home. Then they diddle us out of the care we expected when we are old.
When it comes time to look after us as aged relatives, the job is outsourced to anonymous agencies, residential care homes and social services. The first asset sold to pay for care is usually our own home. Is this what all that sacrifice, missing nights out with friends, the nights of calming crying babies, the years of cooking and cleaning, the vast expense, were all about? Being parked in front of a communal TV screen in a care home, waiting for a monthly phone call from son or daughter?
The truth is that for parents the cost of children, both real and in lost opportunities, is increasing all the time while the benefits are evaporating.
· Need advice about the financial implications of having kids? Find a financial adviser near your home or office
Untangling individuals and society
Don’t get me wrong. Society as a whole obviously needs children. There need to be young people coming along, learning new skills, contributing to the economy and funding through taxes the health service and care the elderly need. And it goes without saying that without children the human race would die out.
Yet while the society-wide contract with children still works fine, at the individual level, where the decision of whether or not to have kids is made, there is no incentive. Why have your own children, when they won’t be looking after you? If the state is doing the caring you get the same benefits whether you have kids or not. Better still, you probably have a few hundred thousand extra pounds in your bank account too.
So this is the point: society needs children, but those children don’t need to be yours. No wonder then that birth rates across the western world are falling. The populations of Italy, Japan and Germany are close to the point of contracting because of falling childbirth. Millions of people are having fewer children and having them later, if at all.
Shouldering the load
Let’s set affection aside, and dissect the economics of childhood.
Bringing up a child used to bring its first practical dividends when they entered the productive workforce. This has extended from the age of 10 in the 19th century to 14 during the first half of the 20th century. Children would work in mines, in fields and factories and bring money home to their parents. Brutal perhaps, but all part of the deal. And it made economic sense.
Now, with the spread of education, that first possible contribution is at 16, and with further and higher education and perhaps even masters or doctoral qualification, could be delayed until 30. Don’t expect as parents to receive any of it though. What’s yours is theirs and what’s theirs is also theirs. If they do pay off any debts, it’ll be student loans first.
· Read one father's response to this article
· Share your thoughts with other users on MSN Money's message boards
School fees
The outgoings start early. For those who choose private schools, the little darlings are going to be costing parents a fortune from the age of five, or perhaps earlier if a pre-school place or a nanny are involved. The average cost of putting a child through private school is now an eye-watering £10,368 a year.
Worse still, inflation in private school fees has been an astonishing 43% over the last five years, during a period when annual earnings have only edged up by 6%. While bursaries and scholarships ease the cost for some, an 11-year private school experience is going to cost an average £114,000.
· This week's best rates on loans
State school free? Not quite…
Don’t think that you are going to escape completely by sending your children to state schools either. Parents will fork out a total of £7,715 during the 11 years of state schooling, according to a survey by the Bank of Scotland.
The costs include £5,184 on school lunches, £941 on uniforms, £374 on coats, £220 on shoes, £303 on PE kit, £154 on rucksacks and bags, £231 on stationery and £308 on school day trips. That doesn’t even include big annual school trips, such as skiing or an educational cruise, which cost hundreds of pounds each.
· How free are our ‘free’ schools?
University daze
When I went to university back in 1976, the fees were always paid by the local authority. That was a few hundred pounds a year, but on top of that they chipped in £600 to help cover my living expenses too.
Not so now. The cost of university education is soaring. A survey by NatWest this year showed that a three-year degree course typically costs £33,000. Gone are the old days when the state would shoulder most of this cost. While the students themselves expected to emerge from their degrees with an average debt of £15,000 from student loans, most of the balance is going to come out of the parental pocket.
· For a comprehensive guide to student finance, check out our Student section
The bill arrives
Add it all up, and you will have spent tens of thousands of pounds per child getting them through school and university; up to £150,000 if private education is involved. Counting the other household costs of children, a family with two kids may spend more on them than on buying a home.
That’s particularly true if you count the hidden costs. One of the parents is likely to have taken a career back seat for at least part of the time, missing top jobs and good earnings, not to mention years worth of socialising.
Crucially, the better the educational level of the mother, and the more money she would stand to make from a career, the higher the ‘opportunity cost’ of her decision to become a parent.
If a road accident had caused the same damage, you can be sure a court would award hundreds of thousands of pounds in compensation for lost earnings and damaged quality of life.
Never leaving the nest
Of course, even when you’ve paid for school and college, you’re not done. Children often live with their parents for years afterwards, expecting mum to wash, iron and cook. If there are savings being tapped to help them onto the housing ladder, it is more likely to come from the parents than the kids.
I know a young married couple who are exhausted by their jobs as schoolteachers. After long evenings marking they have little time for housework or DIY. So their parents regularly come around to mow the lawn, decorate the house and undertake repairs. These energetic parents have a full range of practical skills which are only patchily present in the current generation. Of course it makes sense for them to look after the house, because it was their savings which funded the deposit. Thank goodness for parental love.
Childhood frozen in time
Some children never do leave the nest. There are thousands of single men and women still living with mum and dad even into their fifties. Are they dependents or are they carers? It may be a little of each, but watch who does the cooking and cleaning to be sure.
One man I know has his mum write a note for him when he goes to collect their fish supper from the local chippy. After eating, he still asks her if he can get down from the table. He’s 55 years old.
But kids still have attractions
In spite of all this, the most amazing thing is that so many people still crave parenthood and are willing to sacrifice everything to have it.
Top career women fit in motherhood with meetings, juggling responsibilities, using every kind of outsourced service from nannies to boarding school to have it all. Gay couples want children too, through adoption or surrogacy, while those couples too old for natural procreation resort to ever more elaborate medical methods to make their dream come true.
· Share your thoughts with other users on the MSN Money message boards
The vegetable veto
Even as even the smallest contributory responsibilities are deferred, children are accorded an increasing number of rights. Two-year-olds in the supermarket are invited to help choose what they will eat because it saves trouble later, even if it takes infinitely more time now. Older kids get to help decide where the family goes on holiday. Some carmakers even advertise their vehicles through the eyes of a delighted child, hoping that parents will be persuaded by some safety feature or comfort.
Little girls help choose mummy’s clothes, and quite often help her shop too. The children in turn have money lavished on them. Type in ‘Baby Couture’ on MSN Search and you get almost 750,000 references. From cashmere toddler ponchos to tiny Puma sports shoes, there is literally no limit to what you can spend to make your child a fashion accessory.
Perhaps kids have moved from an essential long-term investment to becoming merely a badge for their parents’ aspirations. Certainly, children’s parties and treats have spiralled out of control on the private school circuit, while ambitious parents arrange more and more activities to give their offspring a head start as a violin prodigy, an equestrian star or an actor/model. For every gem of talent discovered, there’s usually a spoilheap of misery.
Most starkly, at a time when western children have never in history been safer, parents are convulsed with anxiety about bacteria, bullying, drugs and paedophiles. Some kids are never exposed to the cold, to mud or to playing with other children in the street. Life is what they see out of the protective window of the Range Rover.
A generation of Little Emperors
Why this is happening isn’t easy to answer. Just as ‘only children’ have traditionally been spoiled, so our global small families have been made to feel special. In China, the one-child policy has given birth to a generation of what the Chinese call “Little Emperors”.
Perhaps the answer is love. Even though any economic balance in the parent-child relationship has broken down, even though so few kids seem grateful, or even recognise, the sacrifices, even though the upbringing process may not be over at 50, as parents, we still endure it.
However daft it may seem to economists, parental altruism still seems to earn a fat return in love. When so much in the world boils down to pounds and pence, it is somehow comforting that the relationship between parents and their kids isn’t like that.
When it comes to kids, love may cost us dear, but we don’t care.
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